Time and Time Again
by Silvermoon77
Summary: Cole Turner is back yet again! But this time he has a new perspective on things. Would Phoebe learn to love him agian? Does he want her back?


Disclaimer: I don't own Charmed or any of its characters, of course. This is purely for entertainment purposes.

AN: Cole Turner was the best character ever! I think he deserves a lot better than what the writers gave him. This ending at least has to be better than the flop that was "Centennial Charmed," right? Anyways this is the first fanfic I've ever written so please review!

**Time and Time Again**

The luxurious New York City penthouse was lit only by the glow of a cackling fireplace. The flames licked the air, casting long dark shadows around the apartment. Yet the warmth of the fire failed to reach the eyes of the man standing before it. The piercing blue eyes remained colder than ever. Once, perhaps, in the not too distant past, these eyes had twinkled with laugher and happiness. But something, or someone, had brought to them an icy aura.

Cole Turner gazed into the fire, lost in his thoughts. By all rights, he should have been dead. He had wanted to die, to be freed from the pain that tormented him day and night. After all, hasn't he cheated death more than enough times? But no, They wouldn't let him rest, wouldn't let him escape from his pain. At the last minute, They had pulled him back into the world of the living. He supposed They wanted him to suffer, for all the pain he had caused others when he had been a demon. But he wasn't Belthazor anymore. That monster was gone, vanquished long ago. Nor was he the Source. He hadn't even wanted to be in the first place. He hadn't wanted to become an Avatar either, but he had to try to carry out his plan. Of course, that was before it all came down in shambles around him, thanks to Paige. And what about back when he had all those powers? What do you call such a powerful being? Doesn't matter. He doesn't know who he is anymore. Cole Turner was just a lost soul with no place in the world. Damn it! Why couldn't They just let him die? Hasn't he suffered enough?

Inevitably, his thoughts turned to Phoebe. He had loved her more than life itself. She had been his one and only reason for living and breathing. It was Phoebe who had lifted him out of a life of darkness, of evil. Yes, he'd always be grateful for that. But nothing stirred inside him. His heart didn't skip a beat, his breath didn't catch in his throat as it used to whenever he thought of her. He didn't feel these things anymore. And he'd never feel them again. He no longer loved her. For she had cast away their love as if it were meaningless, had given up on him. Had their two and a half year relationship meant nothing to her? Why couldn't she have understood the pain he had felt, the sacrifices he'd made for her? He'd tried his best to make her see the good in him, but she turned a blind eye, choosing to believe that he would always be evil. And when she had thrown that final vanquishing potion in the alternate reality he had created, something broke inside him. He just didn't have the strength to fight for her love anymore.

No, he couldn't love her again, couldn't face the rejections she'd throw in his face, couldn't bear the looks she'd give him, silent and accusing. A fresh flood of pain was released whenever he thought of what used to be, what could have been. The many sweet and passionate kisses they had shared, the nights they had spent together, blissfully unaware of what was yet to come. Cole shook his head. He can't do this. He has to find a way to hold back the torrent of pain. He had to lock away these memories in the innermost part of his soul, never to be opened again. Their love was never meant to be.

Cole silently reached out for the framed picture of him and Phoebe on the fireplace mantel. It spoke of happier times. Their love had not yet been put to the test. They had shared joy and laugher, a moment frozen in time. Cole's hands shook slightly as he slid the picture out of its frame. Can he bring himself to do what needed to be done? His fingers hovered over the flames. Yes, he thought to himself, and let go. The picture fell slowly. Cole watched it burn, watched their love go up in flames. There would be no regrets.

The bustling newspaper room was as busy as ever with reporters hurrying to their interviews, editors busy proofreading the articles, and writers desperately trying to meet their deadlines. Phoebe Halliwell should have been as busy as the rest of them. She had two articles due that day, plus her column. But right then, she just couldn't concentrate on anything. Her mind kept replaying the scene back at the manor last night. The three sisters had left their club for the evening and were back home chatting casually when Leo orbed in with the shocking news from the Elders. Cole was back. This time without any powers, just as an ordinary human being. An innocent.

It seemed that the Powers That Be had regretted the decisions they'd made over course of Cole Turner's life. They had wanted to give him another chance, a chance to live life normally. Or as normally as anyone could who had been a former demon, the Source of All Evil, an Avatar…well, you get the point. Phoebe had stared at Leo in disbelief, shocked into silence. The same could be said of Piper and Paige.

It was the last thing anyone expected. Phoebe didn't know whether to laugh or cry. How did she feel about this, her sisters had asked, concerned. The truth was, Phoebe really didn't know what to feel. Was it relief? Phoebe sighed and shook her head disbelievingly. How could she possibly feel relieved that Cole wasn't dead? Does that mean that maybe, no matter what she told herself, she still had feelings for him? No, she didn't want to admit that. She couldn't admit that. Not after everything she had done to him. But maybe it could still work out, after all this time. Cole was an innocent now, truly pure and without evil. They could start over, rebuilding their relationship. Did she want this?

Phoebe felt a presence in the doorway of her office. Probably Elise again, coming to berate her for lagging behind in her work. Phoebe looked up and froze. He was there. That same curly black hair that she used to run her hands through. The same face she had once caressed ever so lovingly. Those same lips that had once found hers, that had showered her with tender kisses. That same six-foot stature that had once made her heart jump wildly. In fact, she could feel her heart speed up slightly, and her cheeks felt warmer than before. Yet something had changed about him, in some subtle way that she couldn't quite place. He stood there, arms crossed, not speaking, looking at her silently. Waiting for her to speak first, perhaps?

For a while, neither of them said a thing, just quietly looked at each other. Phoebe felt she couldn't stand the silence any longer. She stood up and walked up to him. At the same time, Cole came into the room, closing the door softly behind him.

"Cole, listen," she began. But he shook his head.

"No, Phoebe, _you _listen," he said. Phoebe was taken back by that voice. Was she imagining it or was there a certain steely quality to it that hadn't been there before?

"It's been a couple days since I returned from that place your potion banished me to. I've had plenty of time to think. Actually, that's all I've been doing since I came back, thinking. I thought about you the most, Phoebe. I thought about our relationship, our love, the love that you destroyed. I wanted to forget about you, put our painful past behind me. That's not possible, though, is it?" he laughed bitterly. Phoebe, stunned, couldn't find words. She wanted to say something, but her mouth wouldn't obey.

"Why? Because you broke my heart, Phoebe. You shattered it into a million pieces. Every time I try to forget, it feels like a million daggers stabbing me in the chest. I can't escape the past, can't escape the pain. I had tried so hard, so hard to make you see. But you didn't want to see. You turned away from our love. You betrayed me. Why couldn't you have understood that everything I did, I did for you? The only reason I took in the Hollow was to protect you, Phoebe. To save you from the Source. But the seer had tricked me. When the Source took over my body, I cried out to you. I was glad when you vanquished him, even if it meant that I would die for then you would be safe. And it was my love for you that kept me alive in the demonic wasteland. You had no idea how happy I was when you contacted me there. I had hoped, hoped that you would find a way to free me. But you didn't come. You abandoned me. I didn't give up though, because I knew I couldn't let you go. So I found my way out of the wasteland. Once again, you crushed my hopes. I tried every way I could think of to get you to realize that you still loved me. Now here I am. But I don't want to keep trying, Phoebe, I'm too tired. I can't repeat this cycle again. The Powers That Be gave me a new life in New York City. Don't try to come and find me there. This is goodbye, Phoebe."

Cole turned and walked away, without once looking back. Phoebe watched him go, listened to the retreating footsteps. A single tear rolled down her cheeks.

"I'm sorry, Cole," she whispered. "I'm so sorry…"

AN: I hope you guys enjoyed that. And like I said, please review.


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